week 2-journal 2

Would I have forgiven the dying SS soldier? I don’t know. I am deeply conflicted. I consider myself to be an almost overly sympathetic person (I can’t watch certain movies/shows because I am too embarrassed for the characters) and I loose almost all justice or fairness when I know the person (I tend to make exceptions for people I know). Another layer of complication: I am Jewish (not that it should make a difference. I think a Christian should be just as conflicted as a Jew, but the question of German guilt has been something that’s been in my mind since I was young). Although I never asked myself whether or not I forgive the Germans for what they did, I do wonder what I would have done if I was a plain German citizen at that time.

My father always told me that to understand what the Germans did is to forgive them for what happened. He paints understanding as a form of absolution; something unacceptable. I still don’t really understand this statement completely. I tend to put myself in the situation of the average German who gets swept up in the politics of their time. I make parallels between my morals in my own time and compare it to the moral stances of the average German in the 30’s/40’s. For example, I am aware through news reports of the genocide in Rwanda yet I don’t do anything about it. I continue to buy clothes from Target even though the labor they employ must be very inhumane as evidenced by their low, low prices. I am very average in my society….perhaps I am even worse than the average citizen because I am aware of these conflicts and my behavior remains unchanged.

I like to believe that I would be different but I don’t have any evidence that I would be the brave exception. I worry that I am too morally relativistic. I tend to frown at people who state their beliefs fanatically (I see them as narrow-minded, provincial) but it is that type of person, who is unwilling to compromise their principles, that would become the exception in a fascist society.

If I were in Simon’s place, I wouldn’t have said anything. During the first half of the book, I kept repeating in my head…”you cannot just seek forgiveness from any Jew, we are not all interchangeable…the soldier must seek forgiveness from the Jew’s he murdered.” I was relieved when Simon finally got around to discussing that issue. Although I have a tendency to be overly sympathetic, I fear such blind forgiveness. I don’t think I would forgive the dying, repentant SS soldier. Some things cannot be forgiven and the perpetrator must live with the guilt. Not everyone deserves to die with a feeling of relief. Although I recognize in myself the ability to become a passive murderer, I don’t think I would deserve absolution if I murdered others. I would have to suffer through the guilt. I don’t believe that the Nazi’s should be treated like they treated the Jews (afterall, humanity has to set an example for itself at some point), but I don’t think it’s possible to forgive them for what they did. Forgiving the dying soldier does not change what happened to all those innocent people. Forgiveness in this situation only benefits the soldier’s sense of inner peace. I think a lifetime of guilt seems like just penance for burning a houseful of people alive. I don’t think I’m being too harsh.